Nighttime Musings Volume I

Apart from hanging out with my friends and Brothers in Sigma Chi, my late nights are taken up by certain pondering and musings. Mysteries of life, reflections of my own, ideas for my novel, all sorts of things that occupy my thoughts and deprive me of sleep. Trust me mom, I do try but my mind has other plans for the hours of 11-4. She thinks I'm a slacker and irresponsible because I sleep so late. That might be true now that my sister, who I am currently living with, seems to share mom's thoughts on that. You should feel honored, reader, that I am willing to break the 5th Commandment (or 4th if you're Catholic). Although I'm not sure religious law applies to me since I'm not religious. I'm not going to get into that yet though. Religion is a can of worms that I am extremely controversial about. I have a lot to say about it but in the society I live in I find that it's best to avoid voicing my opinions, especially since I live in a part of the country where the word "lynch" is fresh in people's minds and a majority of the population have at least three crosses somewhere among their possessions. Thank God for the open-mindedness of college students though! Anyways my constant habit of listening to music late at night always helps me to think things over and focus my thoughts better. My mind always wanders off into different realms of thought that provoke my imagination. I find myself always wondering what if? What if a thousand things, for example:
What if I wasn't dating my girlfriend?
What if I had joined another fraternity?
What if I hadn't come to this college?
What if I had decided to play sports in school?
What if I had pursued that one relationship back in high school?
What if I were more dedicated to my grades than my relationships with people?
What if my book were finished?
What if I had gone out more in high school?
What if?
What if?
What if?
I get so caught up in the what ifs of my life that my imagination creates the stories of what happened if those what ifs came to fruition. I can see myself now at some SEC school on a football scholarship, or as a high school dropout living on the streets. There is so much possibility that I can't even begin to comprehend where I'd be if one of a trillion things in my life had changed. Oh well. It's not something that will get me somewhere unless I make it big in the story telling/ writing business. But still...what if?